Six strategies for better listening
“I’m sorry - I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
The student on my screen has been telling me how she chose her current course and university. Her story is fascinating, including a previous degree that led to an unhappy career, a high pressure job being on call 6 days a week, and an ADHD condition that changed how she weighed up her study options.
She wasn’t rambling. She was being open and honest, sharing thoughtful reflections that contributed to a broader set of research insights. For me her stories were gold - adding depth, humanity and reality to the tricky challenges in our research brief. But for her and others I’ve interviewed, the space and permission to keep talking can feel strange and indulgent. Many people just aren’t used to being listened to.
Listening skills are not only useful for researchers. As Kate Murphy explores in You’re Not Listening, these skills are crucial for journalists, salespeople, hairdressers, and hostage negotiators - not to mention simply being a good friend, colleague and team member.
Earlier this year I recorded an interview for a GoodHabitz online training course on Effective Listening, which you can see a quick excerpt from below. Read on for six strategies you can try out in your own listening at work.
Learn to listen differently
Many people think they’re great listeners, but even those of us who get paid to listen need to sharpen our skills regularly. Here are some of my favourite reminders about how to listen more deeply, and stay alert to precious details you might otherwise miss. Are you listening?
Listen as an amateur (beginner’s mindset)
In everyday conversations we may be keen to share what we know about a topic, especially if it helps to build rapport or establish our reputation as an expert. In a research interview, however, you need to pop that ego back in its box! If a student tells you they don’t know how to apply for uni, or shares a thought that contradicts received wisdom, this isn’t the place to correct them or offer advice.
👂 Listen differently: even if you know the answer, ask them to explain more. What’s not clear to them? Where did they get information? How did they come to that conclusion? Hiding underneath their assumptions could be answers to broader issues of communication or misinformation.
Listen for the next layer (tell me more)
Assumptions can kill insights. They skulk around sneakily in the back of our brains, connecting what we hear to our past experiences, and drawing conclusions before we have chance to intervene. One of your most powerful weapons as a listener is the simplest of questions: “can you tell me more about that?” or alternatively, just shutting up for a minute to allow another layer to emerge.
👂 Listen differently: when someone tells you about a situation, or describes something they did, be patient. Instead of asking for justifications or moving to the next question, ask them to elaborate. What happened before that? What about afterwards? How do they feel about it now?
Listen without inserting yourself (it’s not your story)
It’s incredibly tempting to affirm what others say when we’re building rapport in research interviews - nodding, encouraging, adding “absolutely” and “totally” to show them you get it. You don’t have to keep a robotic poker face, but staying neutral is crucial - whatever your own opinion or experience is.
👂 Listen differently: if someone says something you strongly agree or disagree with, can you dig deeper? Where does their opinion come from? What does it mean to them? Did they always think this way, or have things changed?
Listen with your whole body (multi-sensory listening)
Have you ever read a transcript of a conversation you were part of and felt something was missing? There’s so much more to listening than words, especially in the tone, expression and body language of the speaker. Think about how many ways we can interpret the phrase “I had a good time at student orientation” - is it happy, surprised, sarcastic, knowing, bored?
👂 Listen differently: use your phone or notebook to capture what your audio recording can’t. What else is in the picture? What’s the mood like? What does your gut tell you might be happening here?
Listen with your notebook (anchors and reminders)
I usually record interviews, but if I had to choose between notes and a recording, I’d choose my notes every time. My notes help me both during and after the interview, as a place to scribble a great comment I want to find in the recording, or when an idea pops up that I want to raise later in the interview. My notes show me what felt important as I listened, details which can get lost in multiple interviews on the same topic.
👂 Listen differently: even if you’re not a quick note-taker, try writing a few things down next time you’re listening. Capture key words or thoughts that strike you as you listen - do you see any patterns across a series of interviews?
Listen to understand (exploring vs. confirming)
Remember those assumptions? They’re still there, trying to draw you towards the familiar and comfortable. Confirmation bias challenges the most experienced listeners, and can stop us from exploring less obvious avenues that don’t fit our existing thinking.
👂 Listen differently: try listening specifically for things that contradict your hypothesis and understanding of the issue at hand. Ask for clarification to check your understanding: “When you talk about x, I understand y. Is that how you meant it?”
A final piece of advice? Don’t stop listening when the formalities are over. The casual comments as you wrap up, open the door, or walk someone out of the building are just as valuable - sometimes more!
As the recording stops on Zoom, the student I’m interviewing leans into the camera, friendly but serious.
“Universities need to do better, don’t you think? I can’t be the only one”.
I tilt my head, inviting her to continue even though we’re already over time. She’s talking about the adaptability and support she needs from her course as a neurodiverse, working, second-career learner. She’s happy now, but it was tough finding a university that had the focussed, flexible model she needed. Like many interview participants, she expresses gratitude at the opportunity to have her voice heard.
“Thank you. I hope they listen.”
If you need help tuning in to the voices and experiences of students or staff at your institution, or would like to sharpen your team’s listening skills, I’m ready to listen! Get in touch for a chat: lucy@lucyblakemore.com